Hey, hey, hey and (yodel) a very warm welcome from Switzerland. My name is RIK ASSFALG. R-I-K A-S-S-F-A-L-G and you are right, this name is kind of weird but you know what? It’s the only one I have so that’s the only one I use and my website is even weirder because it is just three letters; R-I-K dot live – L-I-V-E. RIK.LIVE and welcome to today’s webisode of Victim versus Winner.
Thank you for stopping by because this is another episode that you might find very valuable because you know what? Sometimes we have to remind ourselves. Sometimes we need to get our thoughts straight again about the little things that could make our day that could make our week, our month or even the world a little bit better.
And I don’t know how to really break it to you because I don’t like sharing bad news but the real bad news here is there’s no one to blame but you. You might have doubts in what I said but yeah that is the truth, my friend. Some people can relate and others might need a little ore reminders on this. So bear with me and just take the bad news that there is no one to blame but yourself. Sometimes when we find ourselves in a negative situation, the instinct is that we find someone or something to blame. And it’s so easy because when we come to work late we say, “oh it’s because of the bus driver was late.” “Because of the traffic.” “Oh, yeah. It’s because I spilt coffee on my suit and I had to go back.” And this and that. “My goldfish was sick and ate my homework.” You know all that bullshit, right? And that’s what it is. It is BS and of course again as what we have been trying to do here is let’s change the perspective. How else can we see it? Let’s have a little disturbance on the usual pattern that we somehow got stuck on. Let us focus on your choices.
In these kinds of situations you either choose where to position yourself, on the victim’s role or the responsible person’s role or the winner side. And I prefer you to be on the winner side because that’s why you’re here you want to make the best of your life. You want to be the best you, you possibly can be. And who would you rather be? If you have the decision to make? You want to be on the winner side. True or true? Alright. But what is the difference between the two roles? Let’s break it down bit by bit for you here.
The victim role and that’s as clear as what it is termed. It’s a victim. It’s the weak part. It is that time where we find something or someone else to blame when we find ourselves in a negative situation. And you know what? We give away all the power that we have as what we have talked about before. And in the perspective of a victim, a failed business means the economy of the country is shitty. Or a failed relationship means there’s something wrong with the other person or unhappiness in their lives meant that they have parents who always told them what to do and the list goes on, and on, and on. I believe you got the point here. Here’s the bad news again, there’s no one to blame. Got that truth so far? No one. Just yourself. Imagine you getting blamed of another person’s failure. Not a good feeling, right? So why would you let other people feel that way? Change the perspective. Take their glasses on. Why would you want to be blamed for somebody else’s failure? That’s just weak. That’s so weak and that other person who blames you puts themselves directly into victim mode. They give away all the power.
So from being a victim, let us define being responsible. Being the winner. The word says it all. The role means accountability or let’s call it the courageous role. Courageous. These people don’t blame. I want you to be one of those people. Don’t blame. Embrace the responsibility for causing even a negative situation. What happened if you took all the responsibility for causing the outcome be it positive, be it negative? But it’s you. You take over responsibility. You know what that will mean for you? You keep all the powers. Then you develop super powers to even overcome bad decisions or negative outcomes because why? Because you don’t blame anybody. You don’t give away responsibility. This means you will come out as the one with the power and the one with the power is always the winner.
Let’s dive a little bit deeper. Let me give you some examples for somebody from the winner side for the responsibility side. For them, a failed business means nothing else but that they haven’t tried their best enough yet. There must be better ways, right? They don’t give up. They don’t blame the economy like the other losers do. They say; “we haven’t tried well enough yet.” “We haven’t tried well enough yet to make the business prosper.” And then they start again and again and again until they find a way how it works with more wisdom because you know, once you want to do something, you learn and you grow right? And you learn from the previous experience. A failed relationship means that they are just two people who have grown distant from each other, right? Things have changed, minds have changed people have grown and they believe they might have lacked communication or somehow had some shortcomings along the way which they are whole heartedly ready to patch up with the other person with no grudge, no greed, no judging and would try it in another kind of relationship like a healthy friendship or something or at least not be hateful. Somebody of the blamer’s side they would be hateful. They would blame everything because… “That only happened because you lalala…” You know all the old program we don’t even want to repeat it here. And an unhappy life for them means that they lack courage to really pursue what they really want because you are the one who think you can be. You know that if you listen to me, you know that. You are the one you can think of to be. That’s what it is.
So while the victim complains, the responsible or the winner person is already thinking of how to rise above the negative situation and how to reclaim the full power. And how to finally take the path in their life’s direction which they really want. Do you see the difference? Does it make sense? So ask yourself, which role would you rather play in your life? What do you want to have? What do you want to avoid in the future maybe – winner’s side, or the victim’s side? And you know what my friend, this is a decision you take every day, and every situation. You are the one defining your life.
Everyone including myself has both of these two roles but either one is more dominant than the other in different occasions. Sometimes this voice is louder and sometimes the other voice is louder. But however let’s not forget the fact that the wolf you’d always feed will always be the wolf that’s stronger than the other. Same is true with either roles; the more we choose to be victims in life, the more we stay as victims but the more we choose to be responsible or to be winners, the more we become responsible and the more we become winners. And our life is not what we think it is to be. Instead our life is what we thought out it should be. There’s a big difference.
This is not rocket science my friend. We know this since birth we just forgot it. And because we let anger, greed and hatred in our lives. And one thing is for sure and very true… That WE ARE IN CONTROL. WE ARE IN FUCKIN’ CONTROL OF OUR LIVES. And if you’re life sucks and you think it does, think again. And think why. It is always our choice. It is always our choice if we take the victim’s role or the responsible/winner person’s role, we decide how the outcome will be. But somehow it seems that taking the victim’s role is the easiest way off and to patch up with the damage probably because we seem to want to take ourselves out of the negative situation effortlessly or you know, it’s very embarrassing to admit that we did something wrong. It’s very embarrassing to say; “Hey, I made a big mistake.” And something, right? So we don’t want to be held accountable with the unexpected consequences we are afraid. Again, anger controls us and when anger, hate or greed controls us, it’s never good because love wins, right? And I am here to tell you, I am here to be a little light for you if you need a reminder as what the famous saying implies; “you are the captain of your own ship.” Sailing a boat is good when the winds are in your favor. But how about if a storm comes up? Once in a while you need to steer the wheel for you to survive and if you just depend the strong winds to take you wherever, well that sounds like a downward spiral from there and you end up in a place that you really did not ask for and you really don’t want and the worst scenario is that you’re perfectly fine with it. Listen to my other podcast about fine. How I like if somebody says “okay” and “fine”. You have got to listen to that. Find it somewhere. Google it somewhere RIK ASSFALG plus OKAY. RIK ASSFALG’s opinion on fine and okay and you will know that fine is never good for you because that’s what you get if you park your car somewhere wrong, they give you a ticket and you pay a… See. And okay is the little sister of shit. So you don’t want to be fine or okay. You want to be great. You want to be at the peak state of your mind you want to take your life at the fullest that you want to embrace and live in grace what the higher power gave you and enjoy every day to the fullest and develop your growth to the best possible you, you ever can achieve.
Victims blame the responsible person and the responsible person does not blame, they just take action. The more we blame, the more we let circumstances take control over our lives. We give away our power. Do not blame your parents, your country, your president or even your dog for eating your homework. You are the only one to be responsible. Full stop. And when you are responsible, you are a winner. No matter the outcome because you are what… IN CONTROL. If you rely your life on circumstances, you will just learn to adjust to what is already there and not to really take action in your life to really get what you want. So my bad news from the beginning that there is no one to blame but us is great news really, right? You know why? Because we keep control, we take over the wheel. We decide what is going to happen and no matter the outcome, we do not let circumstances dictate the outcome of our lives. We decide to make a decision. We can choose to steer our boats to where we want to go. And that is a beautiful thing.
Start the cycle of responsible. Become the winner. Do your homework, pick up the trash on the street even if it’s not yours, clean up your backyard, apologize, say thank you more often, be more lovable, be on time, mean what you say and say what you mean, commit to your words, and take action now. Besides the victim eventually becomes the victimizer so let’s take action to stop that cycle. Let’s disturb the pattern and decide to be responsible with our lives.
This is RIK ASSFALG and my site is RIK.LIVE reminding you again that you are a powerful and a great creature so use that to the fullest, my friend. Take control over your life now. Be good. I love you, always!